


can you not hear me dying?

by sebastienlecopley



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25944256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastienlecopley/pseuds/sebastienlecopley
Summary: How many times does one person have to die until they stay dead? Quynh has started to dream of death, of feeling like she was dying all over again, repeatedly. Except this is not her death. It is someone else's and this is the tragic tale of a fate being repeated, more than five hundred years or so after the first began . . .
Relationships: Andy | Andromache & Booker | Sebastien & Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf & Nicky | Nicolò & Quynh, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Quynh | Noriko, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/James Copley, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 17
Kudos: 58





	1. We've been here before

**Author's Note:**

> I wish to thank Bunny & Bo whole-heartedly for helping me edit the first chapter of this fic which will be a multi-chapter, I'm so grateful to them, and thank you so much! Seriously, I wouldn't be here without you two having done that for me so I'm very grateful for the help. 
> 
> Also, I hope you are prepared for this fic.

Drowning.

She could feel herself drowning once more and gasping, constantly gasping for air before there would be nothing. There would only be darkness. Except this, this felt different. It was not water coming into her lungs and burning away… 

Eyes flickered despite being closed, her hands gripped the blankets that were on top of her before jarringly, she forces herself to sit up, letting her eyes shoot open. She felt like she was dying all over again, repeatedly.

Except this wasn’t her death. 

“Is something wrong?” A voice, familiar to her for over two years now echoed as Booker finally stirred, waking up just after she did. He had been disturbed by her movements from the other side of the room. 

“Quynh?”

The rattle sound that comes from her chest startles her, at first, she thought it had come from the one who was her companion. Booker had been her companion ever since she got out of the Iron Maiden to search for signs of them. Tears were streaming down her face as she sees him slide off the other bed and walk towards her. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I—I don’t know,” it was quiet with her frowning as she went to wipe her tears away, only for him to clasp a handkerchief into her hand. “I think it was a dream,” Quynh murmured as she tried to make sense of it.

“Was it of—”

“No.”

Booker fell quiet after her sharp answer. 

She didn’t want to see Andromache, nor did she want to see Nicky and Joe; as she said the timing had to be right. She needed to see through the cloud of red which stains her vision. Moments of clarity only washing over her rarely. Rage, insanity, pain, all of it was something she had to deal with before she could think of going near Andy or the others; though she and Booker managed to keep up with some of their exploits.

Copley was the reason.

“What do you remember?”

“I—someone was suffocating,” Quynh whispered, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes as she watched him react, saw how his face crumpled and how his eyes lit with concern. “They couldn’t breathe and it was like my – no, their body was on fire from the inside. Like they were trying so hard to take a breath, it was burning their lungs.” She remembers the feeling, how her lungs ached and filled with water, how the air left her repeatedly, over and over for five hundred years.

“Maybe, it was just a nightmare.” Booker couldn’t think straight. He found himself at a loss for words as he opens his mouth, only to close it firmly. His hand ran through his hair as he got back up onto his feet, “I’ll get us both a drink.”

“Thank you.”

A small thought popped into her head as he left the bedroom. It was only to push the thoughts out of her head, of the dream she felt was more real than a nightmare. Exhaling, as she waits for him to return from the kitchen, watching for movement as a light is turned on. 

Quynh finds herself tapping her fingers against the oversized shirt she slept in, which she pulls over her knees as she adjusts herself to the end of the bed. She was still on edge. Something didn’t feel right. 

The whistle of a kettle finishing boiling makes her jump, cringing as she could hear sounds from the kitchen, heard the rustle of biscuits being opened. A soft smile graces her lips, thinking of chocolate biscuits. Her favourite. 

She rolls her shoulders a little as Booker reappears, two steaming cups of tea in his hands, a plate of biscuits resting on his arm. “How is James?” The question startles him, nearly making him drop one cup. 

“Uh, well – I have no idea, he’s busy,” he would have run a hand through his hair but he can’t risk burning himself as he sets the tea and biscuits down. “Said he was helping Nile find some solo work.” 

“Solo mission?” Quynh scowls, as she thinks about it. “They’ve separated?” She thought it was a one-time thing. Nile and Andy had been together while Nicky and Joe went off somewhere but that had been months ago. 

  
  


“They do that,” Booker murmurs as he sits down, handing over her tea first before he grasps his own, taking a light sip as he watches her expression change; brows scrunching as she looks concerned. “I didn’t ask about the others,” he admits, trying not to wince as he saw her eyes narrow. 

Sipping on tea and eating biscuits makes her relax a little. “What time is it?” a cautious gaze in her eyes as she looks over at Booker who runs a hand through his hair, “About four fifteen, I think. Or maybe it’s close to five.” 

“We should try to sleep.” 

Quynh gets up to her feet, taking the cups and the plate into the kitchen, as she needs to do something before trying to sleep. A faint whisper under her breath, of a language long forgotten as she puts the items in the sink. 

She reaches for the tap, twisting it on before running her hand underneath the warm water, noticing her hands don’t shake as much. Washing the pots was simple to her, a small task with her rinsing out the cups before placing them on the drainer. She would let them dry and put them away later, as a yawn escapes her lips. 

“Bed,” she murmurs, hearing light snoring from the other room and lets out a snort, of course, he fell asleep. “Typical,” Quynh says, as she dries her hands on the tea-towel first then moves, switching the light off as she goes back to the bedroom, leaving the door open. 

Exhaling, she hopes she can sleep peacefully as she grabs at her blankets while flopping back down on the bed. Quynh curls up after adjusting herself, cuddling into a pillow as she shuts her eyes, slowly falling asleep... 

Small, ragged gasps escape her throat, as she digs fingernails into her neck, clawing away at flesh. _No, why, why was she suffocating?_ A gulp leaves dry lips, as she tries to calm herself, to let the air into her lungs and out. 

_Booker, can you not hear me dying?_

A tear runs down her face as she scratches at her throat in her sleep, clawing away, as she could feel herself struggle to breathe again whilst tangling her limbs in the blankets, twisting and turning. 

_Why won’t you help me?_

“Please,” Quynh whispers in the darkness. She feels so alone and afraid, struggling as her legs kicked out against the wall. Her lungs were on fire, as she wheezes, trying to take in another breath in. 

_I can’t breathe._

“No.” 

_Why can’t I breathe?_

A scream escapes someone when Quynh suddenly jerks upright. Panicking as her immediate thought goes to Booker across the room, only to see him standing near her bed, looking around as a gun was clutched tightly in his hand, searching for a threat. 

“Are you okay?” 

She wheezes once more. “Quynh, what’s wrong? Why did you scream?” he was insistent, as he kept talking. She couldn’t remember when the light got switched on as she blinks, wiping her face. 

“I—,” Confusion laces her tone for a second, as she blinks again as he frowns, concern etching across his face. Lowering the gun, he places it at the end of the bed, the safety on, to comfort her. 

_Oh, Booker. It’s not me you should be worrying about._

The dream flashes before her eyes. A sob escapes her while arms wrap around her waist, leaning herself back into Booker, his legs hanging off the edge of the bed as he comforts her. 

“I think...” She hesitates. 

Quynh feels how sweaty her palms are, resting against Booker’s arms, a tear running down her cheek before she tries to tell him what she had seen or more specifically, who she was seeing it through. 

“I think Nile is dying.” 

  
  



	2. a bittersweet reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visiting James Copley at his house in Esher, Surrey reveals two secrets that have been kept from the Old Guard team and a reunion turns bittersweet after not only the discovery of Quynh having been freed from the Iron Maiden but finding out that the newest member of their family Nile is suffering, dying repeatedly after taking a risky mission without informing any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank Bo, wholeheartedly for helping me edit this monstrosity of a chapter as well as Ebba for coming up with a great suggestion and the use of one particular scene in this chapter. 
> 
> The French Translation is provided by the lovely and kind, DukeofQueers. The phrase: Putain je suis con means Shit, I'm such a dumbfuck in English. <3 
> 
> Please tell me what you think of this chapter by commenting, also suggestions for this story are always appreciated! And I promise there is much more pain to come. This is truly only the beginning.

_ I think Nile is dying.  _

Booker blinks, only to keep blinking when he opens his mouth, only for the words to die in his throat. The words repeat in his mind as he stares at Quynh in shock, tears dripping down her cheeks as a sniffle escapes her. 

“You  — I don’t understand. What do you mean you think Nile is dying?” He didn’t want her to pull away from his embrace as another sob escapes her, this time it makes his heart ache as he tries to pull himself together. 

“She’s  _ dying _ , Sebastien,” Quynh whispers, so faintly that he feels like he’s straining himself to hear, despite them being on the bed together, his arms wrapping gently around her waist. “She’s suffocating.” 

“That can’t be right. She . . . she was going on a solo mission, that’s all,” Booker couldn’t breathe for a second as his mind flickers back to a memory. His betrayal ran deep but Copley, no — James was able to work with his and Quynh’s family, finding them jobs, helping them. 

James wouldn’t betray them, not for a second time. Right? “I need to ring James,” his throat felt like it was burning as he said the words, trying not to think too much, to dwell on the past while Quynh was in his arms. He was supposed to comfort her, to listen, not shoot her down and distract himself. 

“Stay, please. Just for a few minutes,” he hears her say, “I can’t . . . I don’t want you to move just yet,” a crack in her voice makes him feel as though someone is ripping at his heart and crushing it in their hands as he nods. “I’m here, Quynh. I’ll always be here.” 

She closes her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder as she does, taking a deep breath in, feeling the air fill her lungs before she exhales. “She was scared,” her lips feel dry as she speaks without opening her eyes.    
  
_ When had she stopped dreaming of Nile?  _

Dreaming of her usually was more peaceful than her memories of Booker. She had been drowning, locked away in the Iron Maiden, deep in the ocean while he had been drowning his sorrows, his pain and anger in alcohol. Nile was like fresh eyes to her world. She could see glimpses of Andromache, of Nicolo and Yusuf through her. Now, all she saw was darkness. “She’s terrified and alone,” Quynh’s words hit hard as he didn’t know what to say, what to think. 

“We’ll get answers, I promise,” Booker’s voice sounds rough, as though he’s trying to hold emotion but she couldn’t open her eyes, as she wanted to see if she could rest against him, to see more and get a clearer picture. “ — then I’ll tell James and he can tell the others.” 

  
  


She feels restless. 

“We cannot let them do it alone,” Quynh says, blunt as her eyes open, staring at him with such a fierce gaze, it makes him flinch. “We have to help her, Sebastien. We have to **_try_**. Because why should we let her rot?” She barely takes a breath as she continues speaking, “What will happen to Nile if she spends five hundred or more suffocating? Like I spent **_drowning_** _!_ ” Quynh explodes, though her words are bitter and cold as there was a flicker of rage that originally spurred her on to find Booker. 

Pulling away from his embrace, she has the strongest urge to get off the bed, to walk away before she snaps and stains the walls with Sebastien’s blood. “I need some fresh air,” she murmurs, not waiting for a response as she disappears, this time letting the bedroom door close with a click. 

_ Andromache, how could you? How could you leave me to drown?  _

Quynh flicks her hair out of the way of her face, letting it fall past her shoulders as she loses herself to her thoughts. She grabs her thick jacket and slips on shoes, not glancing back as she leaves the cottage. Snow is thick and crunches beneath her as she walks away from the small cottage. 

**_How could you leave her?_ **

“Where are you, Nile?” She murmurs as she takes a deep breath in and out, seeing a thin mist appear. She welcomes the cold as she decides that she needs to stay away from the cottage while her mind is so clouded. “Why  _ didn’t _ I see you?’’ 

_ How many times have you died?  _

A crunch of snow beneath boots makes her aware that she is not alone, though she has no idea how much time has passed except the sun has risen. She is sitting in the snow, knees pressed up to her chin. 

“I’ve contacted Copley,” Booker’s voice echoes as he slowly makes his way up to where she is sitting, as she turns her head to look up at him. “He said to meet him at his house but he doesn’t--” he hesitates, “I didn’t tell him everything.” 

“You didn’t tell him about me,” she retorts as sharp as ever with her rising to her feet, brushing the snow off her, “or Nile.” It was how the blood drained away from his face that Quynh knew she was right. 

“I just told him it was urgent,” Booker told her, his shoulders hunching a little as he watches her carefully, “we’re on the next flight out from Inverness so all we need to do is pack and get to the airport.” 

“I’m driving.” 

A wave of relief washes down on him when she doesn’t strike out at him, doesn’t make him land in the snow as he expects. All she does is shove past him after telling him she’ll drive before making her way to the cottage. Booker flinches as he hears the front door slam open then shut.

“Putain je suis con.” Booker hisses at himself while knowing he needs to wait a minute or two before he even dares to go back inside. They were to leave Invermoriston for Inverness Airport since he booked them on a flight from there to Heathrow before making the drive to Copley’s house. 

Driving whilst it was snowing made Booker feel anxious, except he wasn’t the one driving. Quynh was and the way she was gripping the steering wheel made him wary before daring to reach over to turn the radio on when she slaps his hand away. “Ouch,” complains Booker at the sharp sting. 

“I’m picking the radio station.” 

“Did you see anything else? Maybe where she was? Or what she was in?” 

“No.” 

Instead of elaborating, Quynh switches the radio on and puts on the heavy metal radio station, not caring about the volume. It makes her think of nothing but the music, which she’s found a fondness for, while Booker mutters something under his breath. 

It was silent for the rest of the journey to the airport with few words exchanged on the flight. Booker insists on driving as Copley only knew that he was coming. Music playing quietly during the second car journey, the only other sound coming from Quynh who taps her fingers against her leg repeatedly. 

Parking the car outside of Copley’s house makes Booker nervous as he switches the engine off, only to inhale and exhale as he unbuckles his seatbelt, getting out before Quynh does. The car doors being shut quietly. 

A man opens the front door, looking surprised to see someone beside Booker. Her arms fold across her chest, disgust on her face after looking at the house then at Copley, “So, your house is ugly. It looks like someone decided to get a … what are they called again? Oh! A matchbox and put it together with no care for proper architecture.’ 

Booker scowls at her words as Copley blinks once then again, “You should find a better house,” Quynh continues like she hadn’t made any insult, “something which fits you far better than this monstrosity.’ 

“We should go inside,” Booker interrupts before she can start saying anything else with James nodding then takes a step back. He turns to lead them through the house and up the spiral staircase to the main level of the house. 

“I’m James Copley.” 

“I’m Quynh.” 

Booker begins pacing back and forth while Quynh walks over to the board where there’s a photo of a licence with Andromache’s face on it and touches the photo, running her finger across the name first then her face. 

“Guess it wasn’t your turn with the company’s  _ one  _ brain cell when you got this place, hm?” She says bluntly to distract herself. “I’m disappointed, James. You can create all this,” Quynh taps her hand against one of the photos, “and you still live here.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

Booker turns at that moment, stopping his pacing as he registers only the last two words spoken by Copley. “You should be sorry!” He shouts. 

He marches over to James, shoving him into the largest section of the bulletin board. “Nile is dying and you  _ betrayed _ us!” He shakes James who has his hands up in the air, the board rattling, “She’s just a fucking kid!” 

“Book — _ Sebastien,”  _ James says, “I swear, I haven’t done anything.” 

  
“I thought you’d be kissing, not shouting,” Quynh interrupts them. Booker glances back at her before turning back and staring at James, searching for any sign of deceit on his face. 

“Quynh?” 

A familiar voice echoes from behind her causing Quynh to spin around. She catches a glimpse of a shocked Yusuf and Nicolo, who stand behind Andromache. Her breath catches in her throat as she stares at Andy. 

“You . . . How did you get—” Andromache starts moving toward her.

Quynh doesn’t let the red haze clear as she lunges forward, knocking Andy to the floor before back-handing her across the face before doing it again this time a lot harder, as she straddles her to stop her moving. 

“You  **_abandoned_ ** me, Andromache!” Quynh shouts. Her hands wrapping around Andy’s neck, squeezing slowly as she continues to yell, “You left me to rot in the ocean!” 

  
  


Loud, incoherent words from the others echo in Quynh’s ears as she squeezes her hands tighter around Andromache’s throat. As the other woman scratches at her hands and tries to shove Quynh off her, firm arms suddenly wrap around Quynh’s waist and tighten, pulling her. 

She kicks and shouts even more as she struggles in Booker’s grasp. Copley still has his hands cautiously up in the air, torn between trying to help and staying where he was. Nicky rushes over to help Booker in pulling Quynh away, grabbing one arm while Booker grabs the other. 

A grunt escapes Nicky as he is kicked hard in the stomach after he releases her arm and moves in front of her. 

Blocking her view of Andromache.

Quynh is now yelling in an archaic language, kicking Nicky again. This time it was hard enough to knock him back towards James. 

She slams her elbow into Booker’s face as Joe pulls Andy to her feet. Quynh is still kicking out, twisting as she slams her boots into one of the boards, making it collapse. 

“— Fuck! Listen to me, Quynh. . .” 

Booker curses as she manages to get out of his grip by slamming her head back, connecting the back of her skull against his nose. Twisting around, she slams her boot into Booker’s groin causing the man to crumple onto the floor, cradling himself. 

_ Damn, that hurt.  _ Booker thinks, grimacing. Quynh stands near the fallen bulletin board, breathing heavily whilst gripping luscious black locks in her hands, pulling hard as she mutters under her breath. 

Booker shakes his head in the direction of Andy’s conflicted face, her gaze wary as she glances between all of them. He gets back up on his feet, heading for Quynh and wraps his arms around her waist gently. 

“It’s okay, Quynh,” Andy hears him say. “I’m here.” 

Andy rubs her cheek, still feeling the sting, the red mark slowly fading as she watches the exchange with bated breath. She was still in shock while Nicky was standing by Joe and Copley. 

It wasn’t like Quynh could truly harm her. She could kill her, sure, but Andy was certain she would only end up coming back. She chooses not to think of the alternative, her gaze settling on the interaction instead.

Joe is torn between happiness and anger. He feels happy to see Quynh again but he’s also angry with Booker for hiding her release from them. “Quynh,” Joe has to address her, to say her name before he strides over to her. 

Booker lets Quynh go as he notices Joe moving, his back straightening and his shoulders stiffen, only to relax when he sees them embrace. Joe has his arms wrapped around Quynh’s waist as she embraces him warmly, only for him to lift her off the floor to twirl her around when a small laugh escapes her. Quiet, soft words were exchanged between them with Booker only wishing that he could know what was said as he watched them interact before Joe set Quynh back down on her feet. 

“Nicolo,” Quynh’s voice cracks, as she finally addresses Nicky, “I’m sorry for kicking you in the stomach,” she apologises first as she moves past Joe, brushing against his arm as she walks over to Nicky. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.” Quynh murmurs as she embraces him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulls her close to him. 

Minutes ticked away, the peace of them reuniting makes Booker relax until he hears a question being asked by Joe, “Where’s Nile?” he hears him say as Booker is unable to look up from staring down at his feet. 

_ They need to know.  _ Booker thinks as he listens to Andy’s response first, “She’s in China, isn’t she? Didn’t she tell you that she wanted to see the Great Wall? See how fast she could . . .” a sinking feeling appears in the pit of his stomach. 

“I thought she left China,” Nicky’s voice echoes as it makes Booker look up, realising that they didn’t know what he and Quynh knew. “Said she was going off to explore Egypt and see if she could find any of our--” 

_ Why were they talking about Nile exploring?  _ Quynh sat down on the sofa when the thought crossed her mind as her embrace with Nicky lasted longer than the one with Joe. She forced herself to pull away and sit down, refusing to even think of hugging Andy. 

“She’s not exploring, Nicky.” 

Quynh looks up at Booker who straightens his shoulders out and lets a puff of air escape him as he was the one to speak to Nicky. “What the hell do you mean by that?” Joe demands, turning to face him. “Booker, I swear if you have--” 

Booker’s expression turns sour, as he registers what Joe is trying to imply, “Me? I haven’t done anything! I wouldn’t — how could you say I would do that to her?” he snaps as Quynh gets back up on her feet. 

“You  _ betrayed _ us!” Joe snaps, stepping forward as Nicky’s shoulders drop as he listens to him start on Booker, “You aren’t even supposed to be here, Booker! You were exiled, remember? One hundred years—” 

“Nile is…” The words died in Booker’s throat, not being able to say the words that he heard from Quynh earlier that day, so he tries to change tactics to make them realise that she wasn’t off exploring some forgotten wonder of the world. “Nile is on a solo mission.” 

“No, she’s not.” The silence stretches for what feels like an endless amount of time. Which is ironic, given how much time Nicky has been alive for, and he lets his gaze travel around each person in the room, dread filling him. 

Someone is missing. 

His eyes land on Copley, recognising the look on his face. Guilt. “No, she’s not,” Nicky repeats but this time it’s something more of a demand and a question. 

Copley sighs, rubbing his hand across his face as he shifts uncomfortably on the spot, “Booker’s speaking the truth.” 

Anger settles on Nicky’s face as he marches over to the man, gripping his jacket before kicking the man’s right knee out from under him and making Copley drop to his knees. Copley is disorientated by a right hook to the face, “Where is she? I swear if you’ve betrayed us, I am going to kill you!” snaps Nicky. 

“I haven’t betrayed you, I swear,” James protests, whilst trying to cover his face with his hands. 

“Nicolo,” Andy warns, her tone sharp as she sees how Booker has shifted into a defensive stance, looking like he wants to wrestle Nicky to the ground from witnessing Nicky punching James in the face. 

“So where is she?” Nicky demands, not paying attention to the others. He ignores the small plea from Booker who speaks in French to him, ignores how Joe says his name after Andy did, and doesn’t look to see if Quynh has moved or not. “Where’s Nile, Copley?” He shakes the man hard. 

“I don’t. . .” 

“Nile is dying, Nicolo.” 

Booker takes a shaky breath as he listens to Quynh speak, to hear her say the dreaded words that cause his heart to ache even more. “What?” Nicky asks, still having a tight grip on Copley’s jacket as he looks towards Quynh, sharp blue eyes narrowing. 

“What do you mean she’s dying, Quynh?” Nicky insists, tightening his grip on Copley as he turns back to stare at him. “What have you  _ done _ , Copley?” He glares at James, who flinches at the man pulling him up to his feet to slam into a wall. 

“Nicolo, let him go.” 

“No,” Andy hears him retort at Booker, “where did you send her?” His tone was sharp, not caring if he makes the others anxious when he slams Copley up against the wall, simply tightening his grip as Joe walks over to him. Joe places his hand on Nicky’s shoulder, trying to pull him back when his hand is pushed away. 

**_“Where did you send her?”_ **

“Nicolo,” Joe is speaking to him softly, keeping calm even if the way his hand gets pushed away from his husband makes him flinch. “Let Copley go so he can answer our questions and show us where he sent her,” Is all he says in English as he switches to Arabic, letting words flow between them, to try to settle Nicky’s temper a little.

Bitter words spew from Nicky’s mouth, a mix of Arabic and Italian. He lets Copley go, but not before one last push, making the back of James’s head hit the wall. He brushes past Joe, fists tightly clenched as he inhales then exhales, trying to calm himself as the others are silent, watching him as he starts to pace. 

James grimaces. He needs a moment to stop feeling disorientated and takes a deep breath. He brushes his hands against his jacket nervously, looking at Andy. “I didn’t betray any of you,” he repeats himself, wanting to assure her first before walking over to the table where his laptop is placed.

“Nile promised to contact me using a burner phone after she finished,” James continues, unlocking the laptop as he speaks. “But I haven’t heard anything since I gave her the details for the second mission.” 

“How long has it been since you heard something from her?” Inquires Andy, who wants to demand or shout at him for not being told that Nile went on one mission and had been intending to go on a second mission without any of them as a back-up. Not even her. 

“About a month and a half.” 

“You didn’t think to tell us?” 

Nicky spins around, facing him, “You didn’t think to tell Andy that Nile went on some secret mission and hasn’t been heard from since?!” He’s breathing heavily as he says the last words, trying not to think of the worst. 

Nicky remembers how it felt when Merrick took them, how the doctor experimented on him and Joe before Booker and Andy were brought in. He remembers Nile saving them, helping them get out of Merrick’s labs. Now his thoughts linger on what could be happening to Nile since Quynh’s words keep ringing in his mind. 

_ Nile is dying.  _

“Are you dreaming about her?” 

His next words were for Quynh, not letting James say anything in response to his demanding questions. Nicky faces Quynh who is standing up, standing close to Booker, her hand resting on his arm. It’s an action that doesn’t go unnoticed by him or Joe. 

“It’s why we came here,” Booker speaks before she can answer, “Quynh woke up this morning after dreaming about her,” he omits the part where it had been twice during the night that Quynh woke up, feeling as though she was suffocating. “We want to find her and we were . . . I was going to tell you, Nicky,” he hesitates, running a hand through his hair. “I would have called and told you where to meet us.” 

Joe’s attention is on Copley, who is pressing keys on the keyboard, searching for something before turning the laptop around to face them, “Her last known location was in Tel Aviv,” James states, looking into it. 

“It’s where her last call to me is from.” He says, tapping on the screen as he shows them where she had been located. Nile had been near a bakery known as Lehamim when she made her final call to him. 

Quynh has a curious expression on her face as she pulls on Booker’s arm to pull him with her as she walks over to the laptop, staring down at the screen. Technology to her was new and it feels so easy now to be found. “So, she’s in Israel?” She asks, frowning. 

“No, I don’t . . .” Copley hesitates, “I don’t think she is in Israel. Not anymore. You see, I gave her the mission brief in person while she was exploring Acre.” He explains as Joe recognises the name of the place he mentions.

It was in North Israel with him and Nicky taking Nile to Acre several months ago along with Andy when they were on a break. They were relaxing as it had been before they accepted a mission as a group. He remembers the way Nile’s eyes lit up, taking in everything, how they sketched side by side together. How she had been so eager to try new foods and take up lessons in Hebrew from them. 

“She went back.” 

Booker hears how strained Nicky sounds as there’s pain laced in his tone, though not from finding out where Nile had been. The man suspects Nicky has come to the dark and sad realisation that Quynh is now seeing Nile die through her eyes. 

“Where was the mission supposed to be?” Booker questions him, seeing the way Copley sighs, how he rubs his face with one hand twice, looking as tired as he had been when they had seen him not long after escaping Merrick’s labs. 

“South Africa.” 

“What was she doing?” Andy demands as she watches James move around, stepping away as Booker has grabbed the laptop, examining the files that were up on the screen. A thick file is handed to her with it making Andy feel nervous to see the words:  _ CONFIDENTIAL  _ written on the front in bold letters. 

A sinking feeling appears as she opens it to the first page, reading quickly as she tries to digest the information as fast as she could. Some pages were removed from the file, being handed over to the rest of them as Copley has the other file, identical to the one Andy holds. 

“I vetted it thoroughly,” Copley tells them, “but I didn’t think she would go for it because it was more of a team mission,” he says as he tries not to stare at them all at once with Quynh clutching one sheet of paper between her hands. 

Joe exhales as he reads the information he has been given, his hands shaking a little as he reads a page. He watches out of the corner of his eye as Andy clears Copley’s coffee table by knocking everything to the floor to spread the rest of the file out. 

“A human trafficking ring?” Joe feels like he’s exploding, as he utters the words, having read the page twice to make sense of what he was reading. “She went after a human trafficking ring, alone, without us by her side.” 

“She wanted to prove herself.” 

“Prove what, exactly?” Nicky snarls, tossing the sheets of paper he was given by Booker and Quynh onto the floor, rounding on Copley with a fierce glare. “Prove how much suffering a  _ mortal  _ can make us endure?!” He steps forward, being about to cross over to where Copley is standing whose expression is full of guilt. 

“No,” Andy murmurs, taking in all the information she can, spreading the contents of the file out as she takes a step back from the coffee table. “I think she wanted to prove that she could handle herself,” she makes a wild gesture to the paperwork, “that she could help the world by taking down something as evil as  **_that._ ** ” 

“She has nothing to prove, Andromache!” 

“I know that, Joe.” 

“Do you?” Joe regrets it as soon as he sees the way Andy’s expression crumples. There’s a sharp jab about something with Booker grimacing as it causes Quynh to pinch him. “She looks up to you, to us and we--” 

“Yusuf, don’t.” 

“We’ve left her to die, Andy.” Joe ignores Nicky’s warning, dropping the paper on the floor as he makes a gesture towards Quynh afterward. His voice cracks as he asks, “How many times has Nile died, Andromache? How many times has she  _ begged  _ to be saved while we’ve been thinking she’s just off exploring some wonder of the world!” 

“Joe, please.” 

Joe ignores Booker’s plea as Nicky is still glaring at Copley, not having said another word after he tried to give a warning to his love. 

“What did you see, Quynh?” Joe’s attention is firmly set on Quynh, whose hands are now trembling, her gaze filled with anguish. “Tell us everything.” 

“I didn’t see anything,” Quynh clarifies, only to hold her hand up, stopping Andy from trying to retort about what she said as she lets out a low sigh. “It was too dark, Yusuf. It was like she was in a box, maybe even a coffin.” 

The words cause Nicky to feel nauseous as he thinks about how terrifying it would be, to be locked away in some box, not being able to breathe, only to come back to life, over and over again. “She’s suffocating,” Quynh’s words echo in his ears as he has to force himself to sit down, knees shaking as he listens. 

“So, she’s not drowning?” 

“No.” 

Quynh does not want to speak of her time under the ocean or how she screamed for what felt like an eternity. How she kept dying, her bloody fists hammering on the Iron Maiden, to get free, only to keep drowning. Shaking her head, her focus is now on Andy, whose face drains of blood. 

“Nile is suffocating and I don’t...” Quynh hesitates, knowing she hasn’t told Booker about it. Her fingernails dig into her palms as she bites her bottom lip. There is a hitch in her throat when she finds the courage to say it, “I don’t think she’s alone.” 

“What do you mean she’s not alone?” Copley has to ask, not wanting to hear the answer but he is feeling sick by the turn of events. He can see how slowly Quynh turns and see the torment which echoes painfully in her eyes. 

“Someone is in there with her.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story so far! I also want to say that I was going to end the chapter differently by showing you where Nile is, or at least what she's experiencing BUT then I thought about what would be a better way to end it than a cliffhanger like that. 
> 
> Now, if you let yourself imagine that not only is Nile being surrounded by bugs, locked in something whilst being buried alive but also having another person in there with you, locked away. Is it a skeleton, is it a mummy? Is it a person who is slowly going to rot away while she keeps coming back to life? 
> 
> . . . 
> 
> I'm evil, I know.


	3. keep on fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR BEING PATIENT. 
> 
> I want to thank BST for helping me with this chunk of a chapter. It might not be as long as the second chapter but it's something. So thank you so much and thank you to Del as well who helped me figure out a few things. You both deserve praise for putting up with this chaotic mess that is me. 
> 
> The lovely DukeofQueers provided the French translation “Putain, ne me fais pas dire ce que je n’ai pas dit!” which in English means: "fuck, don't make me say what I didn't say." 
> 
> Please, do comment at the end and let me know what you think. Also, check the endnote too.

**COPLEY'S HOUSE**

* * *

_Someone is in there with her._

“What do you mean?” Joe demands as his attention is solely on Quynh who takes a deep breath and stares back at him, “Why did you say you think someone is in there with her, Quynh?” he continues, watching her exhale as the silence was like a punch in the gut as he thinks about what it means — not for them but Nile. 

“Because someone is,” Quynh tells him, becoming ignorant of the others as her focus remains on him as he is the one to ask rather than Andromache. She half-expects Andromache to ask, to demand answers but she finds relief in hearing Yusuf questioning her, as strange as that might be. 

She continues, “I _know_ someone is in there with her, and I don’t believe it’s a skeleton,” the words cause her to feel nauseous as she remembers how Nile was feeling as she dreamt about her and tries not to gulp at the thoughts swimming in her head, “I think it’s a corpse that’s just beginning to rot.” 

Joe blanches. 

“A corpse,” He repeats the words, more to himself than to anyone else in the room as he begins to pace back and forth with him trying to keep calm. Not even looking in Quynh’s direction as he speaks, “They locked Nile in a box with a corpse. . . to do what? What is there to gain from doing such a _vile_ thing?” He murmurs, stopping his pacing to turn to look at the others with pain etching across his face that makes Booker’s heart sink. 

“Joe…” 

“No,” says Joe, taking a step back as he glances at Andy after looking over to Nicky who is sitting, hunched over with his head in his hands, body pulled tightly against the chair, not looking up. “I can’t … I need fresh air,” Joe murmurs, feeling overwhelmed as he can’t stop thinking about the smell of a rotting body, of Nile being locked in some box, breathing that smell every time she comes back to life. 

Joe doesn’t wait for anyone to say anything, turning and walking out of the living room without anyone following him as he disappears down the stairs while Andy’s expression becomes torn as she wants to go after him. “Leave him be, Andromache,” Quynh speaks, giving her an instruction which makes Andy bristle a little as she feels on edge, “as you can’t say anything that will bring him any peace.” 

“I know!” 

“Do you? Are you aware of what your words can do?” Quynh begins to say as she feels her control slipping once more as, despite the conversation turning to Nile, there is a bitterness still deep inside her that comes boiling to the surface. “This isn’t about you!” Andy snaps, “it’s not about you, it’s not about me. It’s about Nile! We have to focus on her, not what we’ve said and what we’ve done.” 

**“Andy!”**

“No, Booker,” Quynh’s voice echoes as he has to stop and listen to her, despite the urge to want to tell Andy off for speaking to Quynh in such a manner with him feeling the way her hand touches his arm gently, “Andromache is right. It isn’t about us right now,” she murmurs as she tries not to show how hurt she is by Andy’s sharp response with her taking a deep breath before continuing, “it’s about _her_.” 

“We need to go through all this,” states Andy, making a gesture with her hand to the paperwork that is strewn across the floor and knows that they need to look deeper into what had been given to Nile as well as where she set off from and heading to. “And then we can start searching for her.” 

“Let’s begin.” 

Several hours pass by without seeing Joe as he is still gone from the house while they are trawling through the information, digging out details of how Copley got the intel, how legit the human trafficking ring was. It is rather disturbing for Andy to know the information was _correct,_ that there was no lie as it makes her heart ache and a bitter taste appears in the back of her mouth. 

“Fucking hell.” 

Booker curses as he finds the photos with him having grimaced at the sight, though it was not their first time dealing with such vulgar and disgusting acts of humanity. It makes him wonder how Nile felt, seeing everything that was in the file and even the extra bits of the info provided by Copley who is sitting in a chair, a heavy stack of paper in his lap. 

“Is it still active?” 

“I believe so,” James says, answering Booker’s question as he does not flinch at the cursing which follows in French with him waiting for him to stop before continuing, “as I would have been made aware if Nile completed it before she was taken.” He notices the way Booker’s shoulders slump as the answer makes the other man deflate a little. 

It was like he was hoping for a different answer, trying to force himself to believe that Nile had done it before being taken away. Now, they had two tasks to do in Booker’s mind -- to find Nile while also taking down the human trafficking that Nile had been going after in the first place with him glancing at the others. 

“We should take them down,” Booker says, startling Copley as he doesn’t expect _that_ answer, as he expects something else to be said, “We need to find her and take them down too. Don’t tell me none of you think that’s a good idea! If it wasn’t for the human trafficking--” as he ignores the way that James shakes his head at him from the other side of the room while Nicky finally looks over at him. 

“Is that what you think? We haven’t even begun searching for her!” Nicky snaps, not waiting for one of the others to speak. He has read the files and feels sick from reading them with it being the first time he has spoken in hours. “There will be someone else who--” 

“No one else will take them down, Nicolo!” Booker snaps back, not caring if it surprises the others or makes Quynh pinch his arm hard. “We have to do this. We _can_ search for her and make this right!” He doesn’t even let himself take a breath as he continues, “You know I’m right! You know deep down that we have to do both. We have to find Nile and stop the human trafficking ring.” 

  
  


“We’re not splitting up.” 

“I didn’t say that!” 

“What do you think will happen, Booker? Do you think we’re going to split up? Let you find her while the rest of us go and deal with _that._ What happens if we do split up, hm? What happens if one of us gets taken too? Or--” 

“Nicolò, Sébastien. . .” 

Andy tries to interrupt them as there is silence from James and Quynh with her having to find the words to say, to stop them from arguing even though it doesn’t come as a surprise to her as she watches Nicky stand up, moving forward but doesn’t get too close to Booker. 

“Arguing isn’t going to bring Nile back,” A voice from the doorway echoes through, rendering Nicky and Booker silent. “It won’t stop _them_ from committing crimes like they are either,” from where Joe leans against the door, he sees them both deflate as their anger slowly retreats. Unwilling to tell them where he had been as Joe ignores the question in Andy’s eyes, choosing instead to address the room, “We all know that even if it’s a bitter truth to swallow.” 

“We need to find Nile first,” Andy says with such conviction in her tone that makes Quynh want to believe that they will find her, that they’ll be able to save her from the fate she endured for so long. It’s how Booker stares at her which causes Andy to hesitate, “and then we can come back, we can look at these files and we can save as many people as--” 

“What happens if we don’t find her, Andy?” Interjects Booker with his sharp words startling her as shock appears on her face, “What happens if we **_never_ **find her? What then?” Even though he knows it might be a step too far, it’s too late to turn back, to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. 

Nicky lowers his voice whilst glaring at Booker, “Is that what you think, Sébastien?” he questions him as a shiver goes down James’s spine at the tone in his voice, “Is that what you want? For us to never find her,” he pauses as anger begins to seep through, “Is that what you are hoping for?” 

“Putain, ne me fais pas dire ce que je n’ai pas dit!” 

“It’s the truth.” 

It’s how quick Booker reacts, invading Nicky’s personal space, balling his hand into a fist before slamming it against the other male’s nose. Not caring about how there is a sickening crunch as he swings again, wanting to hit him harder. His temper blinding him as he lets all his frustration out. 

**_“Fuck you, Nicky!”_ **

“You fucking bastard!” Nicky snaps, lunging forward as he slams into the other male, knocking him off his feet and onto the floor with fists continuing to fly as each hit seems to be harder than the next. Blood drips from Nicky’s broken nose while Booker’s lip is cracked after Nicky has split it open. 

“Sébastien, stop it!” 

“Nicolò!” 

Furious shouts echo around them but their anger reaches boiling point as they continue to hit each other. A hit to the ribs winds Booker while a hard hit to Nicky’s eye makes him feel disorientated with each hit seeming only to get worse as the blows are hard and heavy, pain beginning to flare up. 

“Yusuf, do something!” 

A low frustrated sigh escapes Joe as he watches the fight between Nicky and Booker before the insistent shout from Quynh makes him move. He turns his head to look at James briefly who simply nods before they have to try and separate them with Joe knowing it was better for him to grab Nicky. 

“Nicolò, listen to me.” Joe begins to say, speaking in Arabic as he grasps Nicky by his shoulders to pull him off Booker as it had begun to be a blur of motion, of heavy hits and quite harsh words being exchanged. “Let go of me, Yusuf!” Nicky snaps, still letting his rage blindside him as he thrashes in his grasp to try and get free. 

James has an easier time forcing Booker up onto his feet and shoving him in the direction of a sofa as he continues to push him until the man ends up hitting the cushions after a rather hard shove. “Stay,” James commands, his tone sharp as his choice of the word makes Andy quietly snort. 

Nicky’s actions however make her frown as she watches him and Joe carefully, seeing how he makes Joe let go of him forcefully, reminding her of a fight that had taken place years earlier. It makes her sad to think that this is something which could happen more times than not, as tempers were flaring badly. 

“Nicolò, please.” 

Blood has stopped dripping down his face as he pulls away from Joe and storms out of the room without looking back. Joe hesitates, torn between staying and letting Nicky cool off by himself or following. “Go,” Andy instructs him, sternly as her attention is on him rather than on James and Booker, the latter cradling his head in his hands. “We’ll be alright, just stay close,” she insists. 

Booker lets out a heavy sigh as Joe leaves with him not being able to look up, not wanting to see Andy’s expression or the reactions from Quynh and James. His head hurts and his anger is still bubbling away. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, “fuck, I’m so sorry, Andy.” 

“It’s not me you should be apologising to,” says Andy softly, looking at him as she sees the way he looks so defeated, how his shoulders slump with his whole posture making her grimace as she quickly glances at Quynh. “But if you go out there right now, you’ll only make things worse, Book.”

“I know.”   
  
  


* * *

**UNKNOWN LOCATION**

A painful, loud gasp escapes her. She cannot see as darkness encases her but she can feel a maggot crawling up her left -- or maybe it was her right arm. It was wiggling around her arm as a putrid smell began filling her nostrils making her want to gag. Lights are flickering in the corner of her eye which doesn’t quite register in her mind. 

_One._

It is the smell of a body, decomposing with that same, unsettling feeling of nausea slowly creeping up inside her. How long has she been locked away for? She only remembers counting numbers, the last time she came back, gasping for air as she starts to count again. 

_Two._

She tries to move her legs, to kick out at the bottom of what she is stuck inside. Trying to make enough sound for someone, for anyone to hear her. Nile doesn’t believe she has the strength to try and push her hands up, to scratch her nails against the metal but she thinks she needs to do something. 

_Three._

A hitch in her throat as she realises what is to come next as it seems to be inevitable. She will start to lose air and die, suffocating like she has done so many times since being locked away in a box. Suffocating is something Nile never thought she would experience and even if she did, she thought it would only be a one-time thing.

_Why haven’t you saved me, Quynh?_

Gasping. 

_Four._

Nile feels the air begin to fade away, already. No, no, no. It’s too soon as she thinks about kicking harder, about reaching up to slam her hands against the metal, drag her nails across to make a loud grating noise. If she could catch someone’s attention then she wouldn’t have to die again, right? 

She feels air leaving her lungs as she struggles to breathe in and out with her being aware that there is a maggot crawling up her neck. Nile tries to claw at her neck, to get the bugs off her body by scratching away when her right-hand touches another and there is a slight hitch in her throat. 

The next time, she comes back — terror filling her as she cannot see. How many times has she died now? Fifty? More than fifty? When will it end? Nile wonders as she begins to count again as her eyes try to search for something, anything. Only for her gaze to land on a flashing red light from somewhere. 

_One._

Nile takes a deep breath in, closing her eyes shut. She exhales deeply, attempting to keep as much air in her lungs as possible. She feels the need to gasp for air to take a full breath, not obstructed by dirt. The need fuels her as she forces her hands up to feel the metal under her fingers before a sob escapes her throat after realising her hands were not up in the air, touching at the metal. 

_Two._

It was only her imagination.

_Mom, forgive me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter was a . . . beast to write. I also want your opinion on if there should be a time-skip after this. Would you like to see a time-skip? If you do like to see a time skip -- would you want it to be a few days, few weeks or a month or two? (I won't offer like years or anything because it's TOO SOON for one of those huge time skips). 
> 
> <3 
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and being patient with me.


End file.
